Universe Shitty

I've started university again this year. Personal projects can go sit in the corner and build sand castles with their teddy bears. I've got mammoth assignments, all prose, all researched and stuff. Hugh, you should be proud. They're gonna make me learn to argue! History! I've got to argue cognitive science history and its development with a bunch of philosophers!
Actually it's looking to be pretty cool. It's challenging, it sounds really smart and it's good to be back at uni. Another good point is the fact that the lectures are only on one day, so my weekly schedule doesn't look like mouldy Swiss cheese.

Also, zombies.
"The creature shambled and lurched down the corridor toward him. It moved in a way it shouldn't. The limbs reached forward under the volition of a new growth within. Tendons sprouted from the base of the neck and then burrowed through the original muscle and attached to parts of the limbs not intended to withstand the forces needed to support and drive the animal forward. The new muscles of this foreign tissue pulled these tendons with prodigious strength and the original form of the animal became horribly twisted and entangled. Flesh bulged and tore with each step. A shin bones cracked and shattered under the impulse. New limbs formed from the mass and the destroyed ends of the original acted as feet. With another step it split its abdomen internal organs fell to the ground. A tendon pulled its shattered upper jaw around so that it faced me. The eyes swivelled to find it's victim but as I looked into the window of the soul I could see it.
The dog was still alive. Seeking nothing but an end to its unspeakable agony.
I gave it."

All Movies Suck

Except for Conan the Barbarian.
That's why Arnie is Governor. None of this Terminator crap.
Anyway, to complete my thesis and prove my hypothesis (disproving is for lame ass researchers with no REAL academic ability. They just don't know how RIGHT I can be) I need to finish the multimedia equivalent of a literature search.
I need to watch every movie ever made. Including home movies. Okay, some are banned, private, secret or whatever, but this is Science. If you've got a problem with my methodology you can take it up with me. And just in case you're stupid enough to even think about considering that, here's a picture of me jumping through a window.

I intend on saving the mind numbing experience of watching celebrity sex tapes, dancing with the stars and reality tv until my late 120s and anything with Ray Martin can wait until after I'm dead.(He keeps calling!) So I will watch these movies in order of quality, calculated by a function of awesomeness combined with the awesomeness of the person giving the advice. So the movies suggested by Felicity get top billing (Except the Saint with Val Kilmer. I have no idea why she liked that) then Steve, Hugh, Dominik, Andrew, etc.
So here is where I'm up to. These movies I have yet to see. Post some suggestions or cookies or something.

• Donnie Darko
• Brazil
• The City of Lost Children
• The Mummy
• The Grudge
• The Nightmare before Christmas
• XMen 2
• Spiderman 2 (I have this on UMD, I just need to watch it)
• El Cid (Alex lent me this weeks ago, I just remembered it)
• The West Wing (all of it)
• Dogma
• King Kong
• Final Fantasy 7 (the cutscenes)

There is a heap more. Get over it.

Why Not?

It's all quiet on the Western Front. Like, for years. It's currently 2240 (that's 10:40pm in 24 hour time, not the amazing year the Beatles became the Presidents of the United States of Angioplasty. You get used to it after working with Army guys for a while) And I've just sat down to procrastinate before paying bills and surfing the net for porn*. I've decided to sit down now, at this late hour because 10minutes ago I finished washing the dishes which I started washing directly after eating my dinner. We eat too late. Whenever we put down our forks at the end of a meal there's a 'bin bown!' sound effect and we get disqualified.
Just for an experiment, why don't you try and understand what it feels like to start your evening relax'o'thon at 2240, the time you fool. When you get home from work, (probably around the same time Felicity picks me up from the front of mine - 1800) just sit in your car until 1900, then go to the gym for an hour, then sit in you car for another 20 minutes and rush a meal in, followed immediately with a cup of tea. Then digest while beginning to unwind in front of the tv, think about cleaning up the place, (Gods damned! What a mess!) then berate yourself for not getting to sleep before 2230 and shuffle to bed just before midnight. Set alarm clock for 0605, get up at 0630 get ready. Sit in car for an hour and be all bright and happy, the new day is here!

* Really I just play UrbanDead, read ZGeek, Sinfest and play with Blender.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend" Does that mean that the friend of my friend is my enemy? What if I don't even know the guy? Does this mean I need to spend the next BBQ trying to figure out the order of precedence and punch the bad guys in the face? The enemy of my enemy is me, and I'm my own worst enemy so the whole concept is naf.

Non Sequitur today.

I've been thinking about zombies. I've been thinking about them a lot. And zombie dogs. And tv ads about the dangers of smoking. And NO evil spell checker, tv is not capitalised.

PS if you use outlook, type PS surprise! That's useful!

Small Projects

Okay, I've been slack again. I don't have a picture, I haven't had any progress towards my 'big project', and nothing has happened on the house. So I'd better fess up.
My big project was to take the hundred-ish photos of the internals of the walls of the house and stitch them together and map them onto a full 3D model of the house. So, on the weekend, I did the budget. Well, I made a really complicated and detailed spreadsheet that can tell me how much we've spent on all the stuff I've remembered to put in there but can't tell me even simple things like; Can I go to Falls Creek this year? or If I were to give up coffee for the rest of the year, would I be able to afford a PSP development kit?
The Winter Olympics + Thud = late nights this week. So far I've watched some skating, read some Thud, watched some Luge(sp?), read some Thud, and watched Snowboard Halfpipe(men's and women's) and read some Thud. Busy week.

I just wish I had time to work on my personal project too.

Long Winded

deep breath.

i have an immense personal project that i intent to give my all towards it is going to be tough but i just need to stay focussed and not lose my way i will try not to give away too much but it does have to do with the house and will be refered to in the future and i may be able to put some elements of it on this site or parts of elements from time to time to give you all an idea of what i am working on no steve it is not the zombie story although i have a couple of simple ideas for a setting that i need to take and put an actual story into i believe that not having a good story is a problem for lots of authors although not the good ones like terry pratchett and michael marshall smith i am thinking more of the type of author that sets up the story from the end then feeds it to the reader in a way to keep them guess okay so i am talking about dan brown and the da vinci code i finished metal gear solid sons of liberty bomb them all now.

and we bought a fridge.

Pre-Emptive Strike!

Thanks to the power of my cunning mind I have managed to secure the first-post position between Felicity's and my sites! Also, Felicity asked me to post to hers while she did the dishes. Cunning!
Here, below, you can see that they have built the rib-cage of the house. Soon the rest of the spine will be constructed and then we can attach the brain.
For those in the know, I've built the brain out of discarded longjohns I collected from my year ten ski trip. It takes a long time for it to ferment and get the cerebral folding look going.
This all is heading toward our special form of home automation - the zombie frankenhouse. (I've decided not to put a twelve year old boy in a tube and get him to pilot it. I just don't have cool enough glasses for that.)
I mentioned to Steve today that News Weathercasters must be really getting off on all the superlatives they've been getting to use on TV recently. 'Biggest Hurricane Season since Records Began', 'Hottest Year since Records Began', 'Wettest Spring since Records Began'. It must have been an awesome year when they started keeping records. Maybe that's it. Maybe this one year was just SO awesome that all these guys went 'Right, that's it. I'm keeping records of temperature, rainfall and, like, everything from now on so I have some goddamn evidence when I'm a shriveled up old codger claiming that not only was it hotter back when I was a boy, the wind was ten times stronger than what we call hurricanes and the air was so humid we had to use our gills. Some didn't have gills so we had to cut our own. With our own teeth.'

Weakly Update

Man, what can I say? I've even detected a slackness in my own posts without external advice! I've gotten so slack that I forgot I was only post the 'small' thumbnails of the following pictures.
In the theme of slackness, enjoy my photos:

I took the photo on the left whilst on a race with Andrew down Sheok road. The bushfires in Victoria had put enough smoke into the atmosphere it actually reached the sun itself. At the bottom you can see the force-field of the sun punching the smoke, making for an awesome sunset. We won the race after blowing up all of the other cars on all of the roads in Australia. If your car blew up that day, it was because I did it.

From here I am trusting the power of "preview" that this will format correctly on your machine. I can pretty much guarantee that it will be more screwed up on a portable device(say, like a PSP) than it is right here in the blogger editor, but the preview says it's good and it's more qualified than me to comment. It also plays a mean game of tennis and if you don't believe me, go look at the men's finals for the Australian Open. Roger Federer is, in fact, my hand. And my hand has been programmed by the blogger team after a bet I won, but we won't go into that. Picture on the left shows the progress by the carpenters (Luckily it doesn't show the progress by the guys making our secret weapon or I'd have to hunt you all down and kill your family and cut out your tongues. Yes, you have two. Didn't you notice?)

dfbdfbdfb (I often put little scribbles of text in place of my future awesome prose to see what the formatting is like and to encode, in code, the basic feelings that I wish to convey. The scribble here, next to the cat, says, 'This is my cat and, as sure as he has claws, I will convey his awesomness' -I often think like that. And, since this is inside a parenthesis, I need to use some other designation to denote an aside comment. In this case a dash.

I wrote a entry on it being hot. Since then it has been truly hot and I haven't bitched about it one bit. I sweated and sweated and failed to sleep. Without airconditioning the only thing I could do was enter a state of "kell noh reeem" which is cream with a 'hell no' shoved into it. Nikko here can be seen beating the hEAT. omg i'VE ENTERED 1337 MODE!! kNOW F34r!!)

*The spell checker thought "airconditioning" should be "Argonauts"!!!! So do I!

Lacklustreness

This is a short post.
No photos, stories, nothing.
I won't even bother having a point.

Time Travel!

HA!
I have figured out how to post blog entries Back in Time! If you'll notice, the date should say January 17. The amazing thing is this - I wrote and published it on the 21st of January!
The time travel thing works like this: I start the machine on January 17, I then leave it running and arrange to hide in a cubicle, I then stay away from the timeline and try not to interfere with any quasi-future events. Then, at the end of the reversable time-segment, January 21, I return to the machine and post incredible details on the net of the events of that week... Events that have yet to occur! The post then appears on the machine when it was originally turned on, is sent via the internet and posted on this site for all too see! (except for me. I'll be hiding in a cubicle, locked off from the world*) The Future is written on a blog!
Now, here is the list of Future Events (dot-pointed for her pleasure)

• Linda will give birth to a GIRL! Skyla! Congratulations!
  
• We will have wood delivered on the block!
• The carpenters will come and put up some of the frame!
• Osama bin Laden will offer the US a truce! (and a shiny dollar coin!)

Wow! I can't wait!

Here's some pictures!



*for the Ghost who walks.

Remiss

Just in case this is the only thing you bother reading, and I haven't already posted some words to this effect here before and just plain forgotten, here's a news flash. We have a slab of concrete. It has been good weather for it to cure in.
and, wait for it, here's a picture.

Notice the grey swirly things in the midground? Notice the expanse of concrete just aching for a frame and some gods-damned bricks damn soon or it's going to be on the hunt for blood? While they were pouring the concrete, part of the slab that had dried got so pissed off that they were taking their time it totally kicked one of them in the face! All of the weeds and blackberries on the block can be seen cowering in the foreground and the styrofoam that once was blowing around everyone's backyards can been seen huddling in an orderly fashion on the right.
Notice there's no sun? uh-huh. That's right. While I've been writing this, Felicity has written TWO blog entries. (Her first and second)

Another late night. Great.

Dead

Shambling masses arrange themselves grid-wise. When the signal is passed to their fleeting consciousness these formless spawn fill themselves with the dark energy flowing in the streets and stand forth, corporeal and block the light. Above them, a patchwork sky stands static, a mosaic of stained-glass windows, colouring the world for observers above. The crowd of millions shuffle and form new shapes. Each one performing their task. But in this crowd of millions are the dead ones. They stand deaf to the commands given them. They stay unchanging when the call to stay the light in course comes. They stand unchanged when the call to move away comes. Sometimes that stand alone, sometimes in groups.
They are dead.
They are corpses standing among the living.
They are zombies.

My PSP has two. Andrews' has Twelve. Because it's nigh impossible to determine if they are hot, stuck or dead, it is not as easy as saying, 'I have a dead pixel, give me a new PSP.'
So I am still hoping that it's just a stuck one. Wipeout Pure still rocks very hard. It also lets you download expansion packs.

Ego Yuppie Techno Wank

The ultimate in ego yuppie techno wank is:

• Reading your own blog wirelessly on your psp while sipping your latte at the wireless hotspot whilst wearing your $250 sunglasses on top of your head so the polarised lenses don't block out the high-quality TFT screen.

Or is it;

• Posting to your blog doing the same?

PSPs rock. Mine is currently sitting in the cupboard cycling through colours in an attempt to cure the dead pixel it's had since it was found. Wipeout Pure is the embodiment of awesomeness and is exactly the same as the wet dream the creators had when they came up with the concept. The only thing that could be conceivably better would be to have an actual FX300 racing league and for me to be a driver and be a secret agent fighting bad guys in space with light sabers and hot chicks. Sweeet!
It's 2006! Quakes and tribulations arrive! Wasn't there a movie called year of the dog? Well this is it!

Who cares? It's a cool picture!

I've totally forgotten the rant I came up with on the way to the car. Just image that I'm giving that rant and that it totally owns and doesn't even make sense or anything and then about a week later something weird happens and you go wow, that shite was totally right! How did he Know???